G - Goals

G - Goals

I'm finding it hard to start this blog post. It's only been a few days since I wrote the last one, but for some reason I can't start this one. All the others seemed to flow, and this one just doesn't. Even trusty old pinterest can't seem to help me today - that's when you know it's going to be hard! But, I'll persevere regardless; it will just have a bit of a rough start. I suppose you could say it's a goal of mine to write this post.

Because here's the thing. I don't think (on the surface anyway) that I have a lot of goals. And, controversial to most female- teenagers in this day and age, I don't have a bucket list.

Now bucket lists, in case you aren't familiar, are lists people make of goals of things they want to do before their life ends. Wow, that was long winded. But I think you get the idea.

But I don't have a bucket list. To me, it can only end in disappointment. You see, you never know when your life will end. There just is NO way of knowing. Some things, such as apparently poor or good health, might make you think your life will be shorter/ longer than others, but really, there's just no way to know. And if we don't know when our life will end, then how can we plan it?

If my life is going to end in an hour, for example, then it's almost impossible for a goal to be fulfilled if it is to travel to America by then - it takes more than an hour to fly to America, and so I can't do it. 

But, if my life is going to end in 80 years, then I can do so much more. And so if my only goal for 80 years is to travel to America, is that really a fulfilling life I will have lived?

Another thing I don't like about the concept is that it suggests that our lives aren't seen as worthy unless we fulfill these goals.

Let's take this year, 2016, as an example. When the year started out, I had few plans about what was going to happen this year, and even fewer plans on what I wanted to do this year. In other words, I didn't care too much about what happened this year. So, if I was to have made a bucket list this year, there would be very little content on it. In late January, I got a message from a friend inviting me to go on a Christian camp with her. We'd have to travel for a few hours by ourselves, to a place where she would be the only person I knew. It was new, and very out of my comfort zone. Usually, I would say no without having really thought too hard about it. However, I decided to say yes, perhaps because I had that January feeling of wanting to change (an aspect of) my life.

This camp was AMAZING. I managed to travel on various trains, which is difficult for me as I've never really gotten along with trains. The fact it was just me and my friend made it even harder. It was for a long amount of time. I shared a tent with people I didn't know. It was in a place in the country I had never been to before. I didn't know what the site looked like till I got there. I didn't even know what we were doing each day until it happened. Normally, this would have been INCREDIBLY difficult for me. I love to have a plan. I like order, and I don't like change. But, almost miraculously, these things just happened, with little to no issue along side them! I felt myself grow as a person, as well as learning so many new things.

Now, if at the beginning of 2016 you had asked me my goals for the year, attending this camp would have not been one. But I did it. And it was absolutely amazing.

So, to bring it back into the blog post, this is why I don't have a lot of goals, and I never really make bucket lists. Because, as much as I love plan and order, things don't always work out that way.

Going on this camp has made my year successful in SO MANY WAYS. But, if I was only viewing it through the view of a 'bucket list' or a list of 'goals', my camp would have looked no where near as worthwhile.

So,

Allow yourself to have goals. In fact, I encourage them. They give you a sense of purpose. But please, NEVER restrict yourself to trying to fulfill your goals, and your goals ONLY. And NEVER only define yourself by your goals.

That's been G. Next up, H.

- An Alphabet of Thoughts